Monday, October 17, 2016

Being an expat and dealing with loss

Being an expat also means being far away from your family and that's far from being the best part of it. But sometimes it's even harder than others...

In times of loss, it can be very confronting and hard to be an expat, to live in another country. I've learned it the hard way and so have others around me...

Last summer, my lovely grandma passed away. I knew the end was near for her. My parents were at her side and kept me updated. Unfortunately it was impossible for them and doctors to say how long she had left. At that moment I was painfully confronted with what it meant to be an expat: it meant not being able to go home at night or for a day to be at her side and at my parents' side. In the end, I got that fatal call from my parents... My sweet, sweet grandma was gone.
In all this sadness, I still had the chance to say a final goodbye at her funeral. My sister, also an expat, didn't have this chance. While I've been living in the Netherlands for 13 years, so just a few hours drive from home, she's been living in California for 15 years. It was simply impossible for her to get several days off from work and the tickets were too expensive. She had to say goodbye on her own and all we had to be together was Skype.

Today, I've heard that one of my dearest friend is confronted with the very same, painful situation. She too is an expat. Last week she heard that her aunt was seriously ill. So she decided to fly home (to France) to see her aunt 'before it was too late' as she told me. Waiting for the kids to finish school and for the chance to get some time off from work, she booked plane tickets for Monday... This morning, Monday morning, I opened my Facebook to discover her aunt had passed... on Sunday!

My thoughts are with her and her family.

Yes, being an expat is a big adventure, a very enriching adventure, but missing our families makes it tough, especially when facing loss.

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